Loneliness is a qualitative problem rather than being a quantitative one. In other words, the matter is not the number of people around the individual, but it is the degree of the satisfaction or happiness in his relations. Although many people live in solitude, all experience loneliness himself. That’s to say it is a subjective experience. Thus loneliness that can appear because of many reasons has a different meaning depending on the individual who describes it. While some people can show the state of being alone as reason for loneliness, some think that loneliness is their preference. Despite the differences in the definition, it causes similar problems such as isolation, depression, insecurity, despair, worthlessness and anger. Unlike the similarity in results, the causes of loneliness can be diverse. However, there are three major reasons for this unfortunate case. These are a broken heart or missing someone, being rejected and abused by others and being unable to adapt to the society.
Firstly, the most important reason for loneliness is being abused and rejected. All people begin a friendship without any certain knowledge about the people around them. As the time passes, they can analyze many characteristics of their friends. That is to say, they have a chance to know each other sincerely and closely. If everything is still excellent in friendship after a long time, both sides will be happy in their lives without so many problems. However, this satisfaction cannot possible in every relation. People sometimes may want to go on some relations that they are not content with, only for sake of not being alone. As a result of this bad friendship the person who has problems about the relation, may experience hard times in friendship. These problems generally occur when the people around the individual start to treat him in a rejecting manner. For example in these situations, the person is humiliated, used as a means of entertainment, lied not to be admitted to activities of group and eventually rejected. He can even be exposed to some offensive words. Because of these verbal and psychological assaults, the individual begins to form a protective shield to protect himself from these negative situations. He prefers to lead a lonely life instead of being fun of others.
Loneliness is not always a way of living or preference. After some misfortunes, like breaking off in a romantic relationship or death of a special person, people can feel lonely, as well. As a law of nature, every person needs to establish a relationship with someone. Even if everybody may not find easily their perfect mate, all of them experience nice feelings and enjoy living more, thanks to these relationships. During the romantic relationships, the person’s point of view in perception of the external world changes largely, because he starts to feel all things more intensely in these times. Furthermore, he sees the world around them through rose-colored glasses. However, everything is not going as it should be in life and as a result, the indispensable end eventually occurs because of many issues such as unfaithfulness, decrease in affection and lack of harmony. The one who does not want to be left and be alone despite unjustly treatment, can fall in a deep loneliness in occasion of an aftermath. However, in the case of death events occur more differently or badly. As in the first situation there is a hope to reunite, but in the other one it is impossible. Thus the person is aware of the fact of this eternal separation and feels loneliness more deeply. Therefore, the result can relatively change, too as more depressive and gloomy.
The last reason is not being able to adapt to the society which the person belongs. It is a strange phenomenon in a world concerned with over-population. However, keeping all people together and founding only one state and constitution are impossible. As every human being leads a different life, each one has a different world whose rules are determined by the individuals. As a result it is inevitable that there are a lot of different opinions. In order to comply with the society that is full of various thoughts, they have to obey others’ rules and be ordinary among them. However, it cannot be always possible for everybody to fit in with the rest of the world. Due to some reasons they may object to involving in society that they belong to. For example, many people may want to attract attention of the others or they can desire to be popular or admired by being differently or he may feel as if he was not pertained to the society. While some are lucky and go on living happily in spite of their objections to society, many can be rejected or abandoned by society because of his behaviors and thoughts. Thus he may be forced to live lonely in the end.
All in all, everyone has felt lonely at one time or another, regardless of their happy relations, extension of the friendship circle, or position in a crowd. It crawls on person’s skin like a shadow, quickly making its way into his heart. The important things that should not be forgotten are to do something constructive and trying to cope with the loneliness. Think positively about the experiences. Loneliness is not a totally misfortune, but there are the very worst matters that no one wants to experience. Thus, the only thing is to believe that every cloud has a silver lining and to go on living.
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